My First Tarot Deck

In March of 2021, I was hopeless. In a loveless marriage. Plagued with postpartum depression and the impending doom of the pandemic still ongoing. I saw no end in sight to my misery.

For some reason, even though I knew nothing about spirituality, tarot, or anything outside of the Christian God I had come to despise. TikTok started showing me tarot readings. It got me curious enough to go to Google and search “tarot decks near me”. The first thing that popped up was a Barnes and Noble located 45 minutes from where I lived. Little did I know, I had a metaphysical shop (I didn’t even know what that was) only 15 minutes from me, labeled as a “gift shop” in a small country town.

So, I traveled the 45 minutes to Barnes and Nobel, found the “playing cards” section. This is where I discovered my first tarot deck that I chose intuitively (not even knowing what that meant really). I was pulled to the “Modern Witch Tarot” deck.

I barely even remember buying it. I barely remember anything besides sitting down at a table in the cafe, shaking in fear. Why? Because I had been taught my entire life that witchcraft was evil. So why was I pulled so intensely to Tarot? Was it because I had succumbed to the evil ways of witch craft? Was I about to summon a demon just by pulling a card? I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt I needed guidance. To be told what to do and how to do it “properly”.

Little did I know this was all just programming from my religious upbringing. I was convinced I needed guidance on how to connect to my higher self - something I didn’t even realize existed until later on in my spiritual awakening.

I opened this deck only two more times before my awakening took a wild turn and I found myself meditating daily, something I thought was impossible for me and my ADHD.

If you follow along in my blog posts, you’ll learn how I came to understand my power, the power we all have, to protect ourselves. How much I misunderstood this type of spiritual practice. And how much Tarot has changed my life. The places it’s brought me and the things I learned along the way about how to trust my inner knowing.

How I stopped depending on others to tell me what to do and when.

Photos 1 & 3 by NissaJ Photography + Film